2006: Daya Mata’s Former Secretary Reveals All

Ananda disciples of Paramhansa Yogananda tend the garden at the fledgling World Brotherhood community near Pune in India.

In April, there was a book launch for the Indian edition of The Essence of the Bhagavad Gita. The protocol in India is that the author attends, but he doesn’t always speak. The event is a time for others to say laudatory things about him.

R. Kaarthikeyan had become a good friend. He was the former director of the Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI) in India, the equivalent of the American FBI. He organized the launch, arranging for a host of prominent speakers, including a chief minister of Delhi, the president of a major national newspaper, and a former High Commissioner from India to the United Kingdom.

Two thousand people came to celebrate the release. The American devotees commented, “Impossible to imagine in the United States, national leaders in government and business coming together in the capital city to honor the author of a new commentary on an ancient scripture! Only in India!”

Whatever the usual protocol, Swamiji knew people had come to see him, so when everyone else was done, he stepped in front of the microphone. The power of Master that flowed through him while writing the book, flowed through him again into that packed hall.

Two years earlier, Swamiji’s first large public event had been arranged entirely by the handful of Americans who came with him to India. Now, one of the American staff wrote to Swamiji afterward, “More than sixty-five Indian volunteers served from the beginning to the end. Even late at night, back in Gurgaon, emptying the two huge trucks we had rented to carry everything to the hall, they were joyful, energetic, filled with love for God, and thrilled to be part of Ananda. Your presence in India has changed so many lives. Several people at the event came to me, weeping, and asked, ‘How can I become part of the life you are leading?’ How blessed we are to share your life of discipleship. We will strive, to our last breath, to perfect our relationship with Master, as you have done.”

***

Through Mr. Kaarthikeyan, a meeting was arranged between Swamiji and Abdul Kalam, the president of India. President Kalam had a particular interest in education. In Autobiography of a Yogi, Master speaks of founding a Yoga University. Swamiji now wrote a Prospectus, and some thoughts for the Curriculum, for a Yoga Institute of Living Wisdom: Uniting Every Branch of Learning in a Higher Vision of Spiritual Purpose.

“Modern education is based on certain assumptions, particularly on the belief that success means money and power…social respect…a comfortable home, and the means to purchase the things one wants in his life.” The philosophy underlying this institute “is the conviction that spiritual truth is central to all right understanding.

Swami Kriyananda with Indian president Abdul Kalam

“Like the spokes of a wheel, this philosophy views the various departments of life as radiating outward from a central perception of things as they truly are.” This is in direct contradiction to the underlying bias of modern times, “that evolution has no purpose and arises out of utter, materialistic unconsciousness.” The Institute will teach, instead, that “life doesn’t so much evolve from the depths of unknowing, as it unfolds toward the discovery of its own intrinsic nature”—divine bliss.

The Institute would offer a well-rounded education, emphasizing the “every-day applicability of high truth.” Basic to this approach would be the universal insights and world mission of Paramhansa Yogananda. Swamiji’s books were all done for this purpose: to show how every branch of life can achieve its highest potential through the teachings of his Guru. With the recent publication of The Essence of the Bhagavad Gita, the hub of the wheel would be in place; all the writings of Swamiji and his Guru can be presented “in a coherent manner to make the founding of such an all-rounded Institute possible.”

There follows a listing of specific fields of study—philosophy, science, the arts, humanities, politics, economics, etc.—with a brief explanation of how the Institute would approach each subject; and which books by Swamiji and Master would be used, and why.

Many times Swamiji said: Master has come to set a new direction for all of society. He is the avatar for Dwapara Yuga. The day will come when his teachings will define every area of society.

This curriculum shows how that could happen. It also shows the unifying purpose behind the many diverse and seemingly unrelated aspects of Swamiji’s life work. It is a blueprint for a new society; Swamiji’s books are the instruction manuals for how to build it; Ananda is the living example of the culture of Self-realization.

Master said that someday the idea of cooperative spiritual communities “will spread like wildfire” and be the “social pattern of the future.” Swamiji said, “History will show that the most important thing happening at this time is Ananda.”

President Kalam had the reputation of wearing his power lightly, which also described Swamiji. The two men, close in age, both having devoted their lives to serving and uplifting the world, found much to talk about: education, alternative energy, eradicating poverty, the unity of all religions. The president was very interested in the Yoga Institute of Living Wisdom, and promised to study the Prospectus and Curriculum carefully, as right education was dear also to his heart.

Afterward, Swamiji said, “India has very good karma to have such a person helping to forge its destiny.”

***

A few days after the meeting with President Kalam, Swamiji and his staff flew to California, arriving in time for his eightieth birthday.

 In The Path, Swamiji described the talk Master gave at a garden party in Beverly Hills on July 31, 1949: “Never had I imagined that the power of human speech could be so great; it was the most stirring lecture I have ever heard.

“‘This day,’ Master thundered, punctuating every word, ‘marks the birth of a new era. My spoken words are registered in the ether, in the Spirit of God, and they shall move the West…Self-realization has come to unite all religions…We must go on—not only those who are here, but thousands of youths must go North, South, East, and West to cover the earth with little colonies, demonstrating that simplicity of living plus high thinking lead to the greatest happiness!’”

Swamiji wrote, “I was moved to my core. It would not have surprised me had the heavens opened up and a host of angels come streaming out, eyes ablaze, to do his bidding. Deeply I vowed that day to do my utmost to make his words a reality.”

It was soon after Swamiji made that inner resolution, that Master began telling him, “You have a great work to do.” The Guru wasn’t imposing his will on his disciple; he was responding to Swamiji’s own longing to share with all, the deep truths that gave his life such profound meaning.

Eight hundred people at that garden party heard Master’s speech, including most of the monastics from Mount Washington. “None of them acted on his words,” Swamiji said, “I was the only one.”

Fifty-seven years had passed since Master issued his clarion call to found communities. Now hundreds of people had again come together for a garden party, this one at Crystal Hermitage, in honor of Swamiji’s birthday—hundreds of people who, through him, had answered Master’s clarion call.

On behalf of everyone there, and thousands more around the world, Durga offered a heartfelt tribute of soul gratitude. “Many of us came young,” she said, “and we are still here! We could never have persevered on the path, and most of us would never even have come to Master, if it hadn’t been for you, Swamiji. On our own, we could never have created for ourselves the extraordinary life we have together at Ananda. All of this is possible because of your inspiration, guidance, soul-friendship, and perfect example of discipleship.”

Quietly, humbly, with profound sweetness, Swamiji responded. “After Master’s passing, Rajarshi repeated his words to me, ‘You have a great work to do.’ Then he added, ‘And Master will give you the strength to do it.’” Looking at the bright faces before him, Swamiji said, “You are the strength Master promised to give me.”

Later he said, “I could be embarrassed by all this attention directed at me. But I know we are celebrating what we have all done together.”

After the Sunday service on his birthday weekend, Swamiji walked into the dining room where guests and residents were having lunch. The room was crowded, but slowly Swamiji made his way from table to table. His walk was unsteady, and it seemed certain he would fall, but somehow he managed to make his way through the narrow spaces. As he approached each table, those sitting would rise to greet him. He related to each one individually, taking a hand, touching a cheek, or gazing deeply into the eyes.

By the time he finished visiting the last table, everyone in the room was standing, silently watching him. Swamiji pronamed, embracing us all with his reverent gesture: The soul in me bows to the soul in you. We pronamed in return: The soul in me bows to the soul in you. Then we watched, as ever so slowly, he made his way out of the dining room, his once erect posture now bent by age. He was small in stature, but infinite in spirit.

***

Soon after publishing Master’s Gita, SRF also released his commentary on the Bible, edited in the same scholarly way. On his birthday weekend, Swamiji started writing The Revelations of Christ, Proclaimed by Paramhansa Yogananda. Master had Swamiji work with him on The Rubaiyat and the Gita, but not on his Bible commentaries. So this book, Swamiji wrote in his own way.

There is great confusion and uncertainty these days, Swamiji said, about the teachings and the meaning of the life of Christ. The faith of many sincere followers has been shaken by a series of attacks: the breakdown of church authority, ancient texts that supposedly contradict long-held beliefs, outlandish historical analysis of scripture by academics, complete fiction presented seriously by novelists.

The problem is, whom to believe? The solution: look to the saints. Only those who have communed directly with Jesus can speak with authority about his life and teachings. Listen especially to those who share his state of Christ Consciousness. Swamiji then interprets key teachings in the Bible in light of Master’s experience, and the experience of others who knew Christ through inner communion.

In San Francisco, at the Herbst Theater, there was a book launch for the American edition of The Essence of the Bhagavad Gita. A thousand people attended. Swamiji also recorded an audio book of The Essence. “Sound is a more direct transmitter of consciousness than the written word,” he said.

***

Just after his birthday, Swamiji wrote a letter to Daya Mata. After several weeks, when she hadn’t responded, he wrote again: “We don’t have much time.” He had just turned eighty; she was ninety-two. He would be at Ananda Village for two more weeks; “Who knows if I will ever return?” At their age, travel was difficult, so he didn’t expect to see her. But perhaps she could send “people qualified to represent you to me before I leave here. Can’t we leave behind us, when we go, at least a legacy of peace, love, and harmony?”

One of the monks answered on her behalf, “We have considered your suggestion, but find that such a visit would not be feasible at this time.” To the monk, Swamiji replied, “This means that the time will never come. For Master’s work, for Daya herself, I am very sorry.”

To Daya Mata he wrote, “This one thought I wanted to express, which I will state now: In my heart there is no bitterness, but only deep, deep gratitude and joy.” He signed, “With Love in Master.”

Several of us also wrote to the monk about the implications of, “not at this time,” a phrase which obviously meant, “not during Swamiji’s lifetime.” Divide and conquer is an old strategy which SRF had tried on us a number of times—trying to separate us from Swamiji. Maybe they thought it would work better after he was dead.

Daya Mata had made it clear: SRF had nothing against the “good people of Ananda.” The problem was Swami Kriyananda. It bewildered us that they could make such a point of loyalty to Master, and then encourage us to betray the very one who had brought us to Master.

***

In the middle of June, Swamiji went to Ananda Assisi, where they held a belated birthday celebration, including a full production of The Peace Treaty—in Italian. The director was a professional, as were several of the actors. It was performed outdoors. The staging was creative—lawn, hills, and forest surrounding the Temple of Light were transformed into Crystal Isle. The acting was excellent. Swamiji was delighted.

Another hugely successful book launch was held in Milan, this time for Promise of Immortality. Afterward, in Assisi, he began recording the Material Success course. Since so much of success is magnetism, he thought it especially beneficial to have the lessons in his voice. The community had recently bought a new building, adjacent to the property they already had. At the dedication, Swamiji urged the community to use the principles in the Material Success course to raise Ananda Assisi to a new level—to buy more land, start more businesses, serve more people. The community could be an example for all of Europe.

Mr. Kaarthikeyan had already visited Ananda Village. Now he came to see Swamiji in Assisi. He was asked to speak a few words before the Saturday class. “I am astonished,” he said, “that so few people—even counting all of Ananda worldwide—have accomplished so much! In the great epic Mahabharata, five righteous Pandava brothers defeat an evil horde numbering in the thousands.

“You are on the path of righteousness. Let nothing cause you to deviate from that path. The Pandavas had Krishna. We are blessed to have Swamiji. The community in America, this community in Assisi, are the most beautiful places on earth. Yet Swamiji has willingly left all this behind to come to India. Why? Because of compassion—because of compassion for us all.”

At the end of July, Swamiji returned to India. His health continued to be delicate—diabetes, heart trouble, bronchial infections, dizziness. Still, he continued to give his monthly satsangs and a few large public events. This was life as God had given it to him. He adjusted as needed, but refused to allow the limitations of his body to limit his service to Master.

In December, he finished Revelations of Christ, one year almost to the day, after finishing The Essence of the Bhagavad Gita.

A constant search was going on for land where we could start a community in India. Nothing panned out. In that country, long mortgages are not the norm; all the money for purchasing property is needed up front—a huge obstacle, even if the right property could be found. Given Swamiji’s age, and the precarious state of his health, if anything was going to happen in his lifetime, it had to be soon.

***

Shortly after Swamiji left for Assisi, the director of Crystal Clarity at the Village was talking on the phone to a woman named Heidi Hall, the publicist for another book company. Gradually it came out that Heidi was a former SRF nun, known then as Sister Savitri. We knew her well. She was on the Board of Directors, had been one of SRF’s main representatives during the lawsuit, and for twenty years served as Daya Mata’s personal secretary.

Over the next few months, Heidi talked at length with several Ananda people and visited the Village and the community in Palo Alto. She was amazed that we welcomed her so warmly, given the role she had played in the lawsuit against us.

“You’ve come as a friend; we welcome you in the same spirit,” I said. “The lawsuit forced us into an adversarial role, but it was about principles. We opposed the position you took. It was never personal.”

Heidi laughed, and said, “With SRF it was always personal.”

Swamiji was in Europe, then India, so they didn’t meet until later, but they exchanged many emails. Heidi told him, “We share the unique distinction of being the only two people in the world who have been to Ananda and served on the Board of Directors of SRF.” Heidi was fair-minded and kind, but also truthful.

The myth of Ananda, accepted as true by SRF, she said, is that we aren’t disciples of Master, don’t follow his teachings, that “Kriyananda is the only Guru,” and the whole thing is failing anyway—“Just a handful of hippies living in primitive conditions.”

As a young nun, when she first came to SRF, Heidi said she draped some scarves over the altar in her room at Mount Washington, to make it prettier to her eye. Someone reported her and in an open meeting with all the nuns, the Mata in charge said, “Someone—you know who you are—has created a canopy over the altar in her room. This was not Master’s way.” Heidi took down the scarves, and for the next twenty-five years in SRF never did anything creative. She molded her personality, she said, to match what was expected of her and, as a consequence, rose fast in the organization. She always kept a certain independence inside, though, which enabled her finally to leave.

Year after year, she said, the atmosphere of repression increased. As the lawsuits progressed, and SRF continued to lose, a bunker mentality set in. The day the court declared the original Autobiography of a Yogi to be in the public domain was, she said, “A black day at SRF, plunging everyone into a state of near despair. ‘How could God have allowed this to happen?’ was their anguished cry. They never imagined they could lose.” Shaking her head in disbelief, Heidi said, “But it didn’t lead to any introspection.”

During the lawsuit, Heidi read through the entire K File. “I am a peacemaker. I always try to see both sides,” she said. But she found it hard to understand SRF’s point of view. “No one should treat another human being the way Swamiji was treated,” she said.

The last assignment Heidi worked on for Daya Mata was to go through Master’s writings and find all the directions and guidelines he gave for running SRF. In his own handwriting, Heidi found these words, “I hate rules. Lead with a light hand.”

She made a list with two columns, one with Master’s words, the other what SRF was doing—often diametrically opposed to what Master said. Naively, she thought if she presented it to the Board, things would change. But she left before she could do that.

Heidi was a great believer in communication as the solution to all problems, and had a reputation in SRF as a sympathetic ear on the Board of Directors. Eventually Daya Mata called her in and said, “We have heard…” That was the phrase they always used, Heidi said; everyone reported on everyone else. Daya Mata had heard that Heidi allowed people to complain to her about the way things were done. She advised Heidi to take a retreat to think things over—which meant get in line. Heidi decided it was time to leave.

On her last night at Mount Washington, one of the senior Matas called her, at Daya Mata’s request. “If you stay here, you’ll realize God,” the Mata said. “If you leave, you’ll go to hell.” Heidi left the next morning. Daya Mata never said goodbye; nor in the three years since she left had Heidi heard from her—even though twice during those years Heidi had cancer, and Daya Mata knew about it.

Swamiji asked Heidi, “Why did SRF hire a man like X?”

“Daya Mata was upset because SRF kept losing in court,” she said. “She never considered that they were losing because they didn’t have a case. She blamed the lawyers. Shoot the messenger is how SRF operates.”

X was a long-time member of SRF, Heidi said. Daya Mata and many others on the Board of Directors knew him well. SRF was losing their own lawsuit; the lawyer handling the Bertolucci case was not doing a good job. X came to Daya Mata and said, “I can win.” The leaders of SRF wanted to destroy Kriyananda; X said he could do it. Daya Mata knew he was not a good person, but winning was more important.

“She suffers from what Sri Yukteswar called pride of pedigree,” Heidi said. “Not about her birth, but her role, with a few others, of knowing Master’s will and being in control of his work.”

Swamiji called it, “Institutional ego.”

Heidi was at the Pasadena meeting in 1997, when Daya Mata declared, “No more lawsuits!” and said Master had come in a vision and told her, “Settle!” We left that meeting believing a new era had dawned, one of respect and cooperation between SRF and Ananda.

Heidi rode home in the same car with Daya Mata. As they were driving away, Daya Mata scornfully declared her relief that the unpleasant encounter was over, and that she would “never have to speak to Kriyananda again!”

When settlement broke down—but too late for us to take Daya Mata’s deposition about the Bertolucci lawsuit—we wondered if the whole thing had been a sham from the start. Heidi said, “Yes, that is exactly what it was.”

Every charge, suspicion, or intuition Swamiji had ever expressed about SRF, the lawsuit, Daya Mata, her leadership, and the consciousness of the organization, Heidi confirmed.

We invited her to live at Ananda, but after twenty-five years in a monastery, she wanted another kind of life, which she made very nicely for herself. Nine years later, though, cancer returned for the third time, and took her life.

 

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