{"id":261,"date":"2021-08-31T20:50:20","date_gmt":"2021-08-31T20:50:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yoganandafortheworld.com\/story\/?p=261"},"modified":"2021-08-31T20:50:20","modified_gmt":"2021-08-31T20:50:20","slug":"1988-standing-on-our-own","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yoganandafortheworld.com\/story\/1988-standing-on-our-own\/","title":{"rendered":"1988: Standing On Our Own"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Ananda carpenters on their lunch break from a volunteer workday to make repairs on the Publications building (now Hansa Temple).<\/em> L-R Michael Gornik, Doug Shields, unknown<\/em>, Dharmadas, unknown<\/em>, Tim Kretzmann<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Even with the new book, Cities of Light<\/em><\/strong>, the original Cooperative Communities <\/em>was still important for our 20th<\/sup> anniversary. Swamiji did some editing, mostly to bring it up to date, changing the title to Intentional Communities.<\/em> He also worked on his poetic allegory, For What Was Man Made? <\/em>which he now called The Land of Golden Sunshine. <\/em>He started at the beginning of the scripture commentaries, doing more careful editing than was possible in the rush to get them to the ministers. Then he went back to Crises in Modern Thought, <\/em>the book he started writing just after he was expelled from SRF.<\/p>\n

He was a better writer now, and after years of teaching could see more effective ways of building a bridge between modern philosophy and ancient, spiritual truth. The Indian teachings, with their emphasis on experience,<\/em> more closely matched the scientific method than did Western philosophy, which dealt only with theories. For this second edition of Crises<\/em> he added the subtitle, Solutions to the Problems of Meaninglessness.<\/em><\/p>\n

After four months of solitary writing, Swamiji was ready for a break. At the end of February, he went to Italy to see Rosanna, and to give a few weekend retreats at Ananda\u2019s newly acquired center Il Refugio <\/em>(The Refuge), an old hotel just outside of Assisi. Il <\/em>Refugio was a fixer-upper, so a crew of carpenters from America had gone there to help.<\/p>\n

\u201cAssisi is the most powerful place in the West for contemplative and mystical life,\u201d Swamiji said. \u201cHaving our center there will help Ananda everywhere focus more on the inner life.\u201d<\/p>\n

When Master called the communities he wanted to start, World Brotherhood Colonies,<\/em> more was implied than just bringing together people of different nationalities. In 1920, when Master left India for America, his Guru, Sri Yukteswar, advised him, \u201cForget you were born a Hindu, and don\u2019t be an American. Take the best of them both. Be your true self, a child of God. Seek and incorporate into your being the best qualities of all your brothers, scattered over the earth in various races.\u201d<\/p>\n

Swamiji said, \u201cIndia is ancient; Europe has had centuries to develop. By contrast, America is in early childhood. Of necessity, it has concentrated more on getting things done than on figuring out what it all means. Spiritual life requires both kinds of energy, active and contemplative. Ananda has America\u2019s pioneering spirit which will be nicely rounded out by the more inward energy of India and Assisi.\u201d<\/p>\n

In the early years, we rarely left our forest hermitage. Now, Ananda devotees were becoming citizens of the world, with a corresponding expansion in our understanding of Master\u2019s mission. For many years, Swamiji was the lone torchbearer. Now more of us carried at least a candle\u2019s worth of the same light that guided him.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

In America, JAPA was having some success showing the Oratorio in churches all over the country, about sixty programs in a year. People were deeply moved by the experience; but there was no sign of the hoped-for Movement of Inner Communion. <\/em>In Assisi, we had good relationships with a few of the priests; they allowed us to give concerts in their churches, including the Oratorio. The official position of the Catholic Church, though, was less cordial.<\/p>\n

In literature promoting our Retreat, we spoke in glowing terms of the spiritual vibrations of Assisi, home of Saint Francis and Saint Clare. When a Catholic journal saw our brochure, the editors wrote an article about Ananda, denouncing us for using the blessings left by their <\/em>saints. Rather than hide from the bad publicity, Swamiji arranged to meet the Bishop of Assisi. Afterward, he spoke to the Ananda leaders there, and later to the community at the Village.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause of their devotion to the saints, and understanding of the mystical side of religion,\u201d Swamiji said, \u201cwe feel more in tune with the Catholics than we do with the Protestants. We assume the appreciation is mutual. It is not. In Autobiography of a Yogi, <\/em>Master said that when he visited Therese Neumann, he went into a superconscious state and shared her visions of Jesus. A Catholic journal, reviewing that chapter, scornfully declared, \u2018As if a Hindu<\/em> yogi could have a true Catholic<\/em> vision!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is good to have some contact with the Catholic churches, especially through the Oratorio, but we can\u2019t expect them to look for ways to endorse what we have. They won\u2019t. They\u2019ll look for a way either to absorb it\u2014or to denounce it.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat article about Ananda dismissed us as a \u2018fly-by-night\u2019 sect with a \u2018man-made philosophy.\u2019 When the Bishop pressed me on that point, it put me in a difficult position. Much \u2018new age\u2019 teaching is <\/em>man-made. We don\u2019t belong with them. I had no choice, then, but to align myself with Hinduism\u2014a tradition even more ancient than Christianity. I explained that Hinduism was a name imposed from the outside by foreigners. The true teaching is Sanaatan Dharma<\/em>, the Eternal Religion\u2014which is why we can express aspects of different religions and still not dilute our basic teachings.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Bishop simply couldn\u2019t relate to that. I had to give up trying to explain Ananda that way. But because of what I said, one of our members in Assisi put on a program as a \u2018representative of Sanaatan Dharma<\/em>.\u2019 But that doesn\u2019t work either. That\u2019s a whole tradition in itself. They speak Sanskrit, do puja <\/em>[ritual worship], refer to Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva<\/em>, and all the other gods and goddesses. We have nothing in common with them.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat we have is a new expression<\/em>. There is no other way to explain it.<\/p>\n

\u201cTheosophy tried to bring all religions together. They took a piece from here and a piece from there, but in the end, it had no power. Everything<\/em> was diluted. It is different when God sends a Self-realized master whose mission is to show the unity<\/em> of all religions. That has power.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe are like the Christians after the Crucifixion. What we have is new. The disciples considered themselves Jews. Jesus himself said, \u2018I come to fulfill <\/em>the law and the prophets. I come for the lost sheep of the house of Israel.\u2019 But the Jews rejected the message. \u2018This isn\u2019t Judaism!\u2019 At the beginning, it wasn\u2019t the Christians who persecuted the Jews\u2014it was the other way around!<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Bishop read A Festival of Light<\/em> and that told him all he needed to know. The Catholics call combining different religious teachings syncretism,<\/em> and it is widely condemned. That\u2019s how they see us. The subtlety of what we are doing is lost on them.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn the end, the Bishop and I agreed that the quarrel is not with one another. It is atheism we need to combat. He said to me, \u2019You can go one way, and we\u2019ll go the other, and we can honor each other\u2019s way as long as we don\u2019t try to bring them together in a false union.\u2019 I was pleased that we came to that much of an agreement. The Bishop is a good man. I would like to spend more time with him, but I don\u2019t think it is going to happen.\u201d<\/p>\n

To the people in Ananda Assisi, Swamiji said, \u201cStay out of his way. Let him forget about us.\u201d Someone, though, sent the Bishop some of our music. \u201cThey were trying to show him what nice people we are. That was naive. You can\u2019t charm<\/em> the Catholic Church into supporting you!<\/p>\n

\u201cWe have to create a whole new expression and it will take centuries to do that. It doesn\u2019t matter. The worst disaster that befell Christianity was when Constantine was converted and as a result, the whole country converted. Mass conversion is no conversion. It has to be from the heart. \u2018Out of a thousand, one seeks God.\u2019 It is that one <\/em>we have to reach.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis doesn\u2019t mean we have to protect<\/em> the teachings from the thousands! We have to open it up for all who are seeking. But there is no reason to force it upon them.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt has been a serious quest of mine for a long time to see if we could have a dialogue with the churches. I didn\u2019t have much faith in the possibility, but how could I know unless I tried? I felt we owed it to our mission to see if the churches could be our audience. Now I can say with personal conviction, our audience is not those who are in<\/em> the churches. It is those who have left it\u2014or never entered.\u201d<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

After a month, Swamiji returned to the Village\u2014without Rosanna. She had been gone so long, people began to wonder if she was ever coming back. She was dearly loved and greatly missed. \u201cIt is a dilemma,\u201d Swamiji said at a community satsang. \u201cRosanna seems very happy in the work they have built in Sorrento. Many new things are happening and they feel the need for her presence.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe obvious question is: \u2018What does this mean for our life together?\u2019 The answer is: \u2018I don\u2019t know.\u2019 For both of us, God comes first. I wouldn\u2019t move to Sorrento just because I\u2019m married to Rosanna. Nor would I ask her to leave her work and come here, just because she is married to me.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe loves all of you deeply. Spiritually, I think she was doing well here, but it was hard for her, not knowing the language, and with so much unresolved in Sorrento.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have to be honest with you. I would like to say that past difficulties with PEKI are resolved, and we are on the same wavelength now. But the truth is I feel less <\/em>in tune with what they are doing than I did before. I\u2019m not putting them down. But being there, I felt strongly that their work is not mine. I want to do Master\u2019s work. For many reasons, including the marriage, my hope in going there was to bridge<\/em> the gap between us. Instead, I became more aware of just how wide it is.<\/p>\n

\u201cRosanna is convinced it will all work out. I don\u2019t know how, but that\u2019s why we pray to God\u2014because we don\u2019t have answers ourselves. So that is where I have to leave it\u2014unresolved. It is not a matter of what I<\/em> want, or what Rosanna<\/em> wants. All that matters is what God<\/em> wants. Please pray that we receive clarity.\u201d<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Swamiji seldom referred to the pain in his hips, but sometimes it took all his concentration and will power to walk, or even to stand. Now that we had reached our 20th<\/sup>\u00a0anniversary, and it was clear that Ananda was firmly established, he decided to have hip replacement surgery.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy did you wait so long?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI had so many obstacles to overcome in the early years,\u201d he said. \u201cI never thought of the pain in my hips as separate from the rest of the tapasya<\/em> required to start Ananda. It was just one more thing to deal with, so I did. For all those years, I had to carry Ananda. Now Ananda can carry itself.\u201d<\/p>\n

Both hips needed to be replaced, but he thought it would be easier to do them one at a time. The first surgery was in June. Rosanna came back from Italy to be with him, planning to stay through the anniversary celebration in July.<\/p>\n

Afterward, the surgeon remarked, \u201cI\u2019ve never seen such deterioration. A full two inches of bone had worn away. You should have been in a wheelchair\u2014or bedridden. I don\u2019t know how you were able to walk.\u201d<\/p>\n

In the hospital, Swamiji greeted his visitors, \u201cHello, fellow athletes!\u201d and proudly wore a t-shirt someone gave him, printed with the motto, \u201cWatch my smoke!\u201d<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

The first year of our anniversary celebration was a great success. Jyotish, Devi, and other community leaders had taken a Cities of Light <\/em>tour to all our centers and many of our meditation groups. As founding members, they talked about the great adventure of building Ananda, illustrating their story with a slide show of \u201cThen and Now.\u201d They did over fifty television and radio interviews; dozens of newspapers and magazines printed stories about Ananda. The local Board of Supervisors declared June 26-July 2 \u201cAnanda Village Week.\u201d They urged \u201call residents and citizens of Nevada County to acknowledge the success of Ananda and its positive influence on our community.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ananda devotees converged from around the country for the July 4th<\/sup> weekend. The celebration started with a parade. In the lead was a huge Ananda flag, carried like a banner with the oldest member on one side, and one of the youngest on the other. A few weeks earlier, Swamiji had written a new song, Many Hands Make a Miracle, <\/em>which immediately became Ananda\u2019s theme song.<\/p>\n

Even though we thought of ourselves as an American community, in fact, Master\u2019s world brotherhood ideal was alive and well at Ananda Village. At the end of the parade were sixteen guests and residents, each from a different country, carrying the national flag of their birthplace.<\/p>\n

As each group passed the reviewing stand where Swamiji and Rosanna were seated, they pronamed<\/em> in gratitude. Yes, it took many hands to make the miracle; but without Swamiji\u2019s hands guiding ours, it never would have happened.<\/p>\n

At the end of July, Swamiji left with Rosanna for Italy. He planned to stay in Assisi for four months. Seeing our concern at such a long absence, he said, \u201cI\u2019ve always seen my role as helping you<\/em> create community, rather than doing it for you. Everything here is going beautifully. You are all making good decisions, in tune with the ray of light the masters have sent. Italy is where my energy is needed. My being at the Retreat there, as the only direct disciple of Master teaching in Europe, will bring hundreds of people to Ananda. Already we have seen that.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe best service I can offer you is to draw closer to God. My being in Assisi will bring more inner, mystical power to all our lives. I ask for your prayers. You always have mine.\u201d<\/p>\n

Rosanna planned to spend some time in Sorrento, but mostly she would be with Swamiji in Assisi. He hoped it would be easier for her to feel at home at Ananda in her own language and country.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Ever since his meeting with Daya Mata in September 1985, Swamiji had been meditating deeply on his relationship to her and to SRF. In early December, he sent her a long letter:<\/p>\n

\u201cI think the time has come for me to be completely sincere with you. Until now I have written humbly, almost as a petitioner, because I thought it my place to hold such an attitude before you. Now, however, I think I should be more forthright.<\/p>\n

\u201cUntil our recent meeting, I had always believed in your inner support. But when you repeated charges against me, then refused to accept my answers, I began to understand, and realized gradually more and more clearly over the next year or so: you actually wanted <\/em>reasons to justify a negative judgment of me.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know how I can have been so naive as not to have really faced this thought sooner. Now, however, that I know it is so, I don\u2019t feel hurt anymore, because I no longer live with the false expectation of better treatment. I find this awareness actually freeing. The only ones I need to please, and want to please, are God and Master. Neither you nor anyone can come between them and me.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have maintained before you, in the name of humility, a submissive attitude, almost a supplicating one. This has been a false attitude born not of my own deepest feelings, but of the fear of justifying Tara\u2019s accusation that I had insulted you and that I am insulting by nature. In fact, I allowed too many of her ridiculous assertions to weigh on my mind. It is, after all, no easy thing for anyone of integrity to live with the thought that whatever his own personal views on a matter, everyone with whom he has felt previously in harmony and for whom he has always held the deepest respect, holds an opinion diametrically opposed to his own.\u201d<\/p>\n

Swamiji then spent several pages going over events in India and what happened with Tara Mata at the time of his expulsion and in the years afterward. This time, firmly, with fact and example, he refuted Tara\u2019s accusations. He also took Daya Mata to task for her unwillingness to stand by her word.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat could the other Board members have thought from your lack of comment, except that the whole Delhi project was my private, harebrained, and darkly motivated scheme from the start, rather than something that had been agreed to by you, and pursued by me in India on the strength of your agreement<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n

He then goes on to explain from another perspective his own change in attitude. \u201cI have always believed that truth must <\/em>come out in the end. Lately, however, a new insight has come to me on this point. It is this: that for the truth to come out, people\u2019s opinions <\/em>needn\u2019t change. It is the karmic law, rather, that will force its own compensation.<\/p>\n

\u201cFrankly, it seems to me that Ananda owes its success to no small extent to the shakti <\/em>SRF has been doling out to us by its false judgments and self-righteousness over the years. This may seem a very bold statement, but I must say the facts tend to support it.<\/p>\n

\u201cI always knew Tara and I were bound to clash someday, when she realized how eager I was to spread <\/em>the work instead of trying, as she was bent on doing, to protect it from pollution at the hands of an insignificant public. I never imagined she\u2019d win, however, because to me it was too obvious that Master had come to the West in order to spread <\/em>his message, and not to protect it from contamination. The very vitality of his teachings was, I considered, their sufficient protection.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think SRF has paid very heavily for Tara\u2019s actions. My sudden disappearance put the fear of God in everyone. Since then, there has been a growing fear of criticism, a spirit of suspicion and judgment that has replaced people\u2019s former confidence that they would always be treated with compassion and kindness. SRF seems to have lost much of the former spirit of generosity, charity, and joy that I knew when I lived there\u2014the spirit with which you yourself shone so brightly when we first went to India.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt takes two to make a divorce. I have never accepted my dismissal. Without my acceptance I don\u2019t believe anyone can make it stand before God and Guru. As for Tara\u2019s charge of treachery, your problem with me has always been quite the opposite. Try as you will, you haven\u2019t been able to get rid of me!<\/p>\n

\u201cThis point is important to me, because of all I\u2019ve done since leaving SRF. I\u2019ve never worked in a spirit of rivalry. I\u2019ve simply proceeded steadily along the lines of my own life\u2019s dedication. I\u2019m serving Master as wholeheartedly as before. Nothing has changed.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have never accepted as true certain things that Master said to me. Does this mean that I must accept your judgment over his own actual words? You may choose to disbelieve me, but in that case I reply, simply, that whatever is true will demonstrate its truth in time, and in its own way. Truth cannot be swept under a carpet. Nor can it be denied on the strength of mere human opinion.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have no alternative but to follow Master\u2019s guidance as I feel it in my own heart. I may have failed sometimes to perceive it correctly. I may not always have been able to live up to it. But through every storm of life, he has been my polestar. My life is Master\u2019s, and so also will be my death; it\u2019s as simple as that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Swamiji shared his letter with some of the core Ananda leaders; the relationship with SRF concerned us all. He had written, \u201cI accept that I must have been a difficult person to supervise.\u201d I asked why he said that.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey always thought I was too much to handle!\u201d Swamiji said. \u201cOn my conscience I had to do the best for Master\u2019s work. So I kept coming up with ideas\u2014which they knocked flat. When Tara kicked me out, she declared, \u2018Thank God<\/em> we won\u2019t have to listen to any more of your projects!\u2019 The project in New Delhi was not a sudden bomb; it was more like their final excuse.\u201d<\/p>\n

After much speculation about how Daya Mata and SRF might respond, Swamiji said, \u201cIn a situation like this, when you come hat in hand, begging to be understood, people are likely to treat you like dirt. But when you say, \u2018I don\u2019t care,\u2019 people sit up and take notice. If anything could cause her to listen, this might. If it doesn\u2019t? Well, I haven\u2019t written for how she will respond. I felt I had to be honest. In the past I didn\u2019t write like this for fear of imperiling my standing with them. I\u2019ve realized that was a mistake. I should tell the truth as I see it.<\/p>\n

\u201cTara had real spiritual power. She threatened to destroy the organization if Daya didn\u2019t go along with her. Daya\u2019s first priority always was to keep the peace. The problem with that attitude in a leader is that often, then, the negative voice wins. To appease Tara she sacrificed me.\u201d<\/p>\n

It is the widely held belief within SRF that Daya Mata is Self-realized. Swamiji said, \u201cWhen you are Self-realized, you feel yourself in everyone. If Daya were, she would understand me better than she does.\u201d<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

The time in Assisi with Swamiji reminded Rosanna of how much she loved Ananda. When he came back to the Village in December, she came with him.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cLooking back over these two decades of Ananda,\u201d Swamiji said, \u201cnaturally we feel grateful to God for the many lives that have been uplifted through the work we are doing. We have accomplished a great deal.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBut even if we were to build an enormous empire and erect huge monuments, before long \u2014 measured by Eternity \u2014 all our outward accomplishments would eventually become dust. The very molecules that make up the hand I use, and call my own, may have been part of some distant galaxy in an earlier universe. And after my body returns to dust, these same molecules will find their way, who knows where?<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe have much to be grateful for in this wonderful community that God has given us, but community<\/em> is not our reality. There is only one reality: God, and our relationship with Him. Life itself is just a dream. Ananda is the means to a far greater end.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe purpose of man\u2019s life on earth is not what he does, <\/em>but who he is, <\/em>and what he becomes <\/em>through the work he does.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhen you look around Ananda, you see so many happy, even saintly people. In the world, if you see a person like that, you think, \u201cWhat an exceptional individual!\u201d When you see a whole community <\/em>of such individuals, though, as you do here, you realize it has to be what they are doing together. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt isn\u2019t as though the people who come to Ananda arrive as saints, or automatically become saintly just by living here. Each brings with him his own nature \u2014 faith, doubt, devotion or lack of it. Each applies the same principles on whatever level his aspiration can reach.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThose who think \u2018First I have to take care of myself, then I can take care of others,\u2019 never seem to find what they are seeking, and before long decide that Ananda is not for them.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhereas those who think first of serving God, and serving God in others, become self-fulfilled and happy.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIn the \u2018laboratory\u2019 of Ananda we have seen the same experiment repeated over and over, with the same results. After twenty years we can confidently declare: This way of life works.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 Even with the new book, Cities of Light, the original Cooperative Communities was still important for our 20th anniversary. Swamiji did some editing, mostly to bring it up to date, changing the title to Intentional Communities. He also worked on his poetic allegory, For What Was Man Made? which he now called The Land … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-261","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n1988: Standing On Our Own - Swami Kriyananda: Lightbearer<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A 51-year disciple of Yogananda recalls: Ananda & SRF: truth will out. 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