{"id":1627,"date":"2024-08-31T15:53:19","date_gmt":"2024-08-31T15:53:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.yoganandafortheworld.com\/story\/?p=1627"},"modified":"2024-08-31T15:53:19","modified_gmt":"2024-08-31T15:53:19","slug":"swami-kriyananda-stories-ch-7-doubts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yoganandafortheworld.com\/story\/swami-kriyananda-stories-ch-7-doubts\/","title":{"rendered":"Swami Kriyananda Stories — Ch. 7: Doubts"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ve mentioned that when I arrived at Ananda<\/strong> I was offered a job in the publications department. It was located in the building that overlooks Ananda Village, its sweeping roof suggesting a descent of divine blessings.<\/p>\n

One day, someone asked me to take some papers to Swamiji at his home.<\/p>\n

When I arrived, he welcomed me and asked me to wait while he concluded a meeting with one of our graphic designers.<\/p>\n

I sat at the top of the steps that led down to the living room.<\/p>\n

I was amused to see that Swamiji was \u201cpestering\u201d the designer, asking him all sorts of nattering questions. I realized that he was testing the man, to see if he would become impatient or flustered, or if he would remain calmly focused on serving.<\/p>\n

Ted passed the test beautifully. When I mentioned the incident to him later, he said, \u201cYeah, Swamiji was behaving just like an obnoxious design client, but fortunately I caught on to the joke.\u201d<\/p>\n

As I watched them, I found unwelcome thoughts entering my mind. I would have given anything to be rid of them. They were sneering thoughts that bubbled up from my subconscious.<\/p>\n

I realized that they were a powerful expression of maya<\/em> \u2013 the force that resists spiritual things and tries to keep us bound to the little ego.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d the voice snarled, \u201cSwamiji isn\u2019t so great. What right does he have to tell me anything?\u201d<\/p>\n

Even as these thoughts were trying to invade my mind, I realized that they were completely insane. Finally, instead of trying to drive them out or pretend I wasn\u2019t having them, I decided simply to watch them calmly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are these thoughts?\u201d I pondered. \u201cWhere are they coming from?\u201d<\/p>\n

I realized: \u201cThey are doubts.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what is the solution?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, my intuition tells me with great certainty that Swamiji deserves to stand on the pedestal on which I have placed him. I am convinced that he is everything I believe him to be. And as I gain greater experience of him, I believe that my experience will fall increasingly in line with my intuitive perception.\u201d<\/p>\n

I realized that it would be ridiculous to pretend that I had more experience of Swamiji than I did, or that I could give myself as unreservedly to his guidance as I knew it would be wise to do.<\/p>\n

When the meeting ended and Ted had left, Swami talked with me about the matters I had come to discuss. As we talked, he was unusually expressive, smiling with love and understanding.<\/p>\n

I knew that he had known my thoughts, and that he was happy that I had been honest with my feelings, that I hadn\u2019t tried to suppress them, and that I had arrived at the right way to face them, honestly, objectively, and with impersonal goodwill.<\/p>\n

Swamiji told us many times that we should be completely open and honest with God, and never try to hide our feelings from Him. He always suggested that we stand before God in full faith that He accepts us exactly as we are, without the slightest lessening of His love when we find ourselves lost and wandering in error.<\/p>\n

Swamiji said that when we find our freedom in God, we will realize that it was He who performed all the actions of our many lives, good and bad alike. He taught us that accepting ourselves, \u201cwarts and all,\u201d is a necessary first step before we can begin to grow spiritually.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ve mentioned that when I arrived at Ananda I was offered a job in the publications department. It was located in the building that overlooks Ananda Village, its sweeping roof suggesting a descent of divine blessings. One day, someone asked me to take some papers to Swamiji at his home. When I arrived, he welcomed … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1627","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nSwami Kriyananda Stories — Ch. 7: Doubts - Swami Kriyananda: Lightbearer<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A 58-year disciple of Paramhansa Yogananda recalls how he overcame doubts by facing them squarely.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.yoganandafortheworld.com\/story\/swami-kriyananda-stories-ch-7-doubts\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Swami Kriyananda Stories — Ch. 7: Doubts - 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