{"id":1034,"date":"2023-02-24T20:15:30","date_gmt":"2023-02-24T20:15:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.yoganandafortheworld.com\/story\/?p=1034"},"modified":"2023-02-24T20:15:30","modified_gmt":"2023-02-24T20:15:30","slug":"conversations-with-ananda-chs-20-21-gurudas-barrett","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yoganandafortheworld.com\/story\/conversations-with-ananda-chs-20-21-gurudas-barrett\/","title":{"rendered":"Conversations With Ananda — Chs. 20 & 21, Gurudas Barrett"},"content":{"rendered":"

NOTE:<\/em>\u00a0<\/strong>This is a long, combined posting of two chapters in Gurudas\u2019s life, before and during the years when he worked closely with Swami Kriyananda as manager of Crystal Clarity Publishers, the company that published Swamiji\u2019s books. For readers who are interested to know what it was like to work as one of Swamiji\u2019s \u201cright-hand men,\u201d this chapter is bound to hold special interest. As Gurudas tells, Swamiji often held out their working relationship as a model for how others should aspire to work with him. As such, it holds continuing value for those who serve the great work today.<\/em><\/p>\n

The first time we spoke, Gurudas managed East West Bookshop<\/strong> in Mountain View, California which is owned and run by Ananda. East West is the largest metaphysical bookstore on the West Coast.<\/p>\n

Gurudas became interested in spirituality in his late teens. He recalls, \u201cI had an inward experience of truth, and I had a love for God that was growing, but I wanted to know more.\u201d His spiritual life was first nurtured by six years of tae kwon do, a Korean martial art similar to karate in which he earned a black belt.<\/p>\n

Marriage and the birth of a son put Gurudas\u2019s spiritual interests on hold, and when the marriage ended he found the teachings of Paramhansa Yogananda.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Q:<\/strong> Is tae kwon do a spiritual martial art?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Gurudas in 2020.<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Gurudas:<\/strong> It depends on the teacher. My teacher taught philosophy and right livelihood, as well as many Buddhist precepts. We learned to breathe, to use energy properly, to focus our will, and to \u201clive in the spine\u201d \u2013 as I later realized, it was pure yoga.<\/p>\n

All this business about fighting that you see in the movies was really just for the new people. Once you had earned a black belt, the teacher would look at your belt and say, \u201cNow what?\u201d And you would think: \u201cWell, I\u2019m a black belt!\u201d As if you were really something. But he would say, \u201cYou don\u2019t know anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

In that respect, it was a little bit like the movies, but I was privileged to see a number of people who lived the true art. It was an art of life, an art of Self\u2011realization. In fact, they even used that term. And when you became a black belt, it was a whole new level of training, with much more emphasis on philosophy and treating others well, using your energy properly, and being responsible in life. So there was a lot more to it than just \u201cWow, I can break this board.\u201d<\/p>\n

Q:<\/strong> At a recent meeting of the East West staff, you seemed to be aware of the energy in the room. You seemed calmly attuned to the consciousness of the staff. Did tae kwon do help you develop that awareness?<\/p>\n

Gurudas:<\/strong> One of the first precepts in tae kwon do is to increase your awareness. I had no particular plan for the meeting. I simply wanted us to meditate together and talk about our lives, because I feel the most important thing is our connection as devotees. It\u2019s something Swami Kriyananda reminded me of last spring. I had managed several Ananda businesses aver the years, and he said, \u201cThis time, just be a devotee. Think of the people first, not the profits.\u201d<\/p>\n

Of course, you have to work with the bottom line, but if we take care of each other, and if we\u2019re devotees first, spiritual principles will come into play and the profits will tend to take care of themselves. I believe that if we treat each other with respect, and with a recognition that God dwells in each of us, the natural result is that we\u2019ll succeed.<\/p>\n

Q:<\/strong> Does it make for a different atmosphere in the shop?<\/p>\n

Gurudas:<\/strong> It seems to. In my mind, the staff at East West typify the Ananda experience, because we\u2019ve got people who are willing to sacrifice their personal view for another\u2019s well\u2011being. And we make allowances when someone needs to work on something they\u2019re going through.<\/p>\n

Q:<\/strong> Do your personal spiritual practices help you in your job?<\/p>\n

Gurudas:<\/strong> Absolutely. The most important thing was my training with Swami Kriyananda, which has made all the difference\u00a0in the world. Any abilities I may have had were deepened and enriched by my time with him. He\u2019s alive and present with me every day. I feel his presence more deeply than ever, even though he\u2019s living in Europe.<\/p>\n

I was blessed to spend quite a bit of time working with Swamiji. When I worked at Crystal Clarity, the company that publishes his books, I was around him a lot.<\/p>\n

Q:<\/strong> What do you remember about that time?<\/p>\n

Gurudas:<\/strong> What struck me most strongly was his way of dealing with people. There were times when everyone, myself included, would be saying \u201cWhat is it with this person? They\u2019re doing it all wrong!\u201d And Swami Kriyananda would unfailingly stand up for them, even at the cost of what we all thought were monumental expenses. It would just make you shake your head, because he would stand behind them, stand up for them.<\/p>\n

Living in the Ananda community, we\u2019ve all heard these stories, but I got to see it firsthand. Swami would say, \u201cVery well, if you\u2019re not able to work with this person, then I will.\u201d And what struck me was his undying loyalty and devotion to each soul, and to God in each of us.<\/p>\n

When I say \u201cmy training\u201d around Kriyananda, I feel that being in his presence was<\/em> the training. I saw and learned lots of things through the years, but just being around him was the real training \u2013 feeling that vibration, and that respect.<\/p>\n

Many times, I would go to his home on some errand with my wife, and every time he would come down and welcome us. \u201cHello. Welcome! Would you like some tea? Could I make you some tea?\u201d He would always say that. And we would say, \u201cNo, sir, but can we make you some tea?\u201d And he\u2019d say, \u201cWell, I wouldn\u2019t object!\u201d But he never presumed. And that\u2019s something to say, isn\u2019t it? He never presumed or imposed on anyone.<\/p>\n

He would always ask. He would never say \u201cDo this, do that\u201d \u2013 never. Even when I felt that he\u2019d be perfectly within his rights, he would never say anything harsh, or direct people to do something in any way that wasn\u2019t appropriate. It was always with respect for the soul. Certainly, he has sharp opinions at times. Don\u2019t we all? But I never heard him express them in a way that was hurtful to anyone.<\/p>\n

Q:<\/strong> Which Ananda businesses have you managed?<\/p>\n

Gurudas:<\/strong> I lived at Ananda Village for six years. When I arrived, I served at Earth Song, Ananda\u2019s former health food store and restaurant in Nevada City. I was then asked to manage the market at Earth Song Cafe, and I was there four years. Later, I was asked to do road sales for Crystal Clarity, Ananda\u2019s publishing house, where I was national sales manager for about a year.<\/p>\n

Q:<\/strong> Is Swami Kriyananda\u2019s management style reflected in the Ananda businesses?<\/p>\n

Gurudas:<\/strong> Everyone brings their particular strengths and weaknesses. The overall business manager at Ananda Village, Vidura Smallen, always impressed me as embodying much of what Swamiji teaches. I saw that Vidura immediately understood the principle of respecting others. Whenever someone wanted to talk to him, the door was always open.<\/p>\n

I also worked with Padma McGilloway, who for several years managed Crystal Clarity, the company that publishes Swamiji\u2019s books. What struck me about Padma was how deeply she had attuned herself to Swami\u2019s vision for Crystal Clarity. She could see very clearly that we weren\u2019t publishing \u201cAnanda\u2019s books,\u201d but that the books were a ray of light into the world. In fact, Swami Kriyananda never said \u201cThese are Ananda\u2019s books.\u201d They were simply the teachings of Yogananda, expressed by Kriyananda \u2013 and, oh yes, we have Ananda over here, too, if you\u2019re interested. It was never that you had to get into Ananda in order to be involved with the teachings.<\/p>\n

Q:<\/strong> When a person is working at East West, how would you like them to treat the customers?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Swami Kriyananda (back to camera) chats with Gurudas Barrett at East West Bookshop in Mountain View, CA, 2000.<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Gurudas:<\/strong> If you can find joy within yourself, I think you\u2019ve done your best for the customer, because it will naturally bring out the joy in them. They\u2019ll have a pleasant experience, and so will you. I believe it\u2019s why our customers come back. Generally speaking, the people at the front desk are calm, energetic, joyful and happy. People feel that vibration, and it draws them to come back. They may not know what it is, but they like how they feel when they come to the store.<\/p>\n

Q:<\/strong> I was in the store, and I overhead a customer say, \u201cI thank God<\/em> for this wonderful store!\u201d It occurred to me that there aren\u2019t many businesses where the checkout person is praying for you.<\/p>\n

Gurudas:<\/strong> Isn\u2019t that true. We have pictures of the masters behind the register, and very often we\u2019re praying for people and giving them spiritual energy.<\/p>\n

Q:<\/strong> Do you have ideas for how the store can change or improve?<\/p>\n

Gurudas:<\/strong> I see us doing more of the same. I would like us not to lose sight of the people who serve there. The usual idea that you want to grow a business rapidly with a big bottom line and lots of money \u2013 none of that is important\u00a0to us. It\u2019s more important that we have an environment where we can serve God in each other and in the customers.<\/p>\n

If the store doesn\u2019t grow, we\u2019ll work with that reality. We don\u2019t have to let the finances dictate truth to us. The real bottom line isn\u2019t about profits, but being here for each other. I feel that living for God each day and having an experience of His joy is what matters. That realization has come over me more strongly than ever. Two of our staff are on vacation so I\u2019m carrying three jobs, but I feel fairly joyful about it, and not too pressured.<\/p>\n

Q:<\/strong> Do you see yourself being a manager forever?<\/p>\n

Gurudas:<\/strong> I don\u2019t see myself as a manager or a businessman now. I used to think of myself that way, but I\u2019m happier now that I don\u2019t. It\u2019s all a passing show. I don\u2019t feel attached. If I\u2019m gone tomorrow, fine. I\u2019ll do what I need to, and I\u2019ll put all my energy into it.<\/p>\n

Q:<\/strong> That sounds like the martial arts \u2013 putting forth energy while remaining detached.<\/p>\n

Gurudas:<\/strong> I am coming back to the martial arts, to a degree. But I\u2019ve learned nonattachment through yoga and the teachings at Ananda.<\/p>\n

Q:<\/strong> Does meditation help you in your work?<\/p>\n

Gurudas:<\/strong> It does. It brings a sense of inner calmness that helps you deal with what\u2019s before you, and with the waves of energy swirling around. You go into a state of meditation, and you can carry that state with you. It\u2019s a process of attunement. When you latch onto the ray of divine light, it\u2019s transforming.<\/p>\n

Meditation is one of the tools that leads us to that, but really, attunement supersedes the techniques. The connection to the Divine in your life transcends the tools to get there. It\u2019s a very inward experience. It\u2019s an inward permanence. I owe all gratitude to Swami Kriyananda, because that\u2019s where it\u2019s coming from, that blessing of inward awareness.<\/p>\n

Swamiji has always been there for me. Paramhansa Yogananda has always been there for me. They\u2019ve never failed me in anything I\u2019ve needed. I think I\u2019m fairly reasonable \u2013 I don\u2019t ask for silly things, but whenever I\u2019ve needed it, the guidance has been there. God is there for each of us, all the time.<\/p>\n

In our second conversation, more than twenty years after the first, Gurudas described his time serving as the manager of Crystal Clarity Publishers, Ananda\u2019s publishing arm, and working closely with Swami Kriyananda.<\/p>\n

Ch. 21: Working with Swami Kriyananda<\/h2>\n

Q:<\/strong> Can you tell us something of your life leading up to the years you spent helping Swami Kriyananda.<\/p>\n

Gurudas:<\/strong> I\u2019ll start with a period that began a few years after I managed East West.<\/p>\n

Going back to the late 1980s and early 1990s, I managed Earth Song Caf\u00e9 in Nevada City, then later I managed East West Books in Mountain View, California; and then there were two separate periods when I managed Crystal Clarity, the company that publishes Swami Kriyananda\u2019s books, which was then located at Ananda Village, but has since moved to Los Angeles.<\/p>\n

My relationship with Swamiji changed over the years, reflecting the way Swamiji\u2019s own way of expressing changed. Swami, as I understood him, was always the same, but his outward expression changed as time passed. And where the force of his personality had been directed more outwardly in the earlier years, he had withdrawn more in the later years, and his consciousness was expressing itself in a much broader way than before.<\/p>\n

But in the way we worked together, he was the same. And, speaking generally, it was a blessing and a really special time.<\/p>\n

Q:<\/strong> My ears perked up when I heard that you were willing to talk about your time at Crystal Clarity, because it\u2019s been very interesting to talk with other people who worked with Swami, For example, Padma talked beautifully about her experiences at Crystal Clarity. So whatever you feel to say about that period would be very welcome.<\/p>\n

Gurudas:<\/strong> I\u2019ll start with the time when I managed East West and lived in Palo Alto. I was going through a time of great personal transition, and when Swami visited our Mountain View community, I took the opportunity to ask him, \u201cSwamiji, what do you see that I should do next in my life?\u201d<\/p>\n

Usually I would make a special effort to go and see him, but on that occasion I was trying to blend with the crowd. We were at Asha\u2019s for a gathering with him, and I was feeling very inward. And then most of the people left and I was remembering my old days with Swami, and how I would have just gone to him. But a big part of me was thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t want to bother anyone.\u201d And another part was saying, very strongly, \u201cGo see him!\u201d So I went in, and he just boomed out in his normal way, \u201cSkip, come sit here.\u201d<\/p>\n

There were a half dozen of us, and he looked at me very pointedly and said, \u201cHow is your life?\u201d And I answered noncommittally, as we\u2019re prone to do when we\u2019re feeling more private. But then I went home and I wrote to him, and I told him about the various changes that had happened, and how I felt a change in my life was needed.<\/p>\n

I said, \u201cSwamiji, all my life I\u2019ve felt, I guess as we all do, that we live to the potential that we can understand, or the guidance we understand.\u201d Because I don\u2019t know about others, but I think I was a little afraid to face the Divine, as we sometimes are when we\u2019re in trouble and trying to hide behind our life, or get so busy that we\u2019ll forget.<\/p>\n

I said, \u201cAt this point, I want only what Master wants for me, Swami, and I don\u2019t want anything else.\u201d And the only person, of course, that I knew who could give me any shred of understanding would be him. So I said, \u201cIf you see that I should do something different with my life, please tell me, and I will follow it. If you see that I should stay in Palo Alto, I\u2019ll do that.\u201d<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t respond, and he didn\u2019t say anything back to me. But then I went up to the Village for his birthday \u2013 this was in 2007 \u2013 and at that point I was fairly calm, and I was glad to see him, and we had lots of nice experiences at his birthday party in the Crystal Hermitage garden.<\/p>\n

And then I went up to get his blessing, and he gave me such a powerful energy, and he blessed me, and it was one of those experiences where a power would come through him \u2013 a diksha <\/em>as it\u2019s called in India. And he said, \u201cFind the Glazzards. Go to Portland and help them.\u201d And I said, \u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n

So I left the work I was doing, and I moved up to Portland, and I was only up there a short while. I think I was there just to meet my wife, Nicole. And I hadn\u2019t been there long when I got a call that there was a need at Crystal Clarity, and would I be willing to come down and manage it? I said, \u201cRight away.\u201d And I moved back down to the Village. But I have to think that the main reason I was in Portland was to meet Nicole. And then we had a two-year long-distance connection before she was able to move down to the Village.<\/p>\n

So I came down and took over Crystal Clarity. Sean Meshorer, the publisher, had been through a long illness, and he and I had had a long and close friendship over the years, and a good connection. And when I took the position, Swami told me, \u201cThis is for now, but if Sean is better, it\u2019s his role, It\u2019s his job.\u201d But Sean said, \u201cI don\u2019t see that ever happening.\u201d Because he wasn\u2019t doing well physically.<\/p>\n

So I took the job of working with Swami, and over those years, which were the last years of his life, from the end of 2007 until his passing in 2013, we did lots of books, but the book that was on my mind when I got there, and that had more or less gone to press, was In Divine friendship<\/em>, a collection of Swamiji\u2019s letters that Naidhruva had compiled.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t have much of a hand in that book, but I helped coordinate some of the connections between people.<\/p>\n

When Swami would do book signings, Pranaba and Seva and Parvati and I would work with him every day. We did that for a number of the book signings from that point, and it was always interesting.<\/p>\n

I remember how, on one of those titles, he had me sit with him while he signed books. I\u2019m guessing he swapped us around to give us all a chance to work with him more closely. But he had me sit with him at some of the signings, and when someone approached to have their book signed or to greet him he would turn and say to me, \u201cWho\u2019s this? What\u2019s going on with them?\u201d And of course I didn\u2019t know all the people, but between Seva, Parvati, Pranaba, and I we were pretty much able to figure out who we were talking about.<\/p>\n

He would sign books until he was tired, and then he\u2019d say, \u201cThat\u2019s it for today.\u201d And we\u2019d come back and do it again the next day. And there was a lot of joy at those events.<\/p>\n

So that went on for In Divine Friendship<\/em>, The New Path<\/em>, Demystifying Patanjali: The Yoga Sutras<\/em>, and Paramhansa Yogananda: A Biography <\/em>And one of the last big projects we did together, after Swami was gone, was his memorial book.<\/p>\n

But in my day-to-day experience I would generally be in the office trying to coordinate things and keep the physical realm on the rails, and then I\u2019d get a call from Swamiji. And it would be along the lines of, \u201cSkip, I\u2019ve written this.\u201d And he would always say, \u201cIt\u2019s going to be a bestseller!\u201d with great enthusiasm. And I\u2019d say, \u201cThat\u2019s great, Swamiji.\u201d And then he\u2019d have me come over and we\u2019d discuss things. And every one of the books had its own story.<\/p>\n

Swamiji was fully focused on every book that he would put out. And when I would come over, often I would have ideas that I thought were important and that he should be aware of, but generally my job was just to be there as he asked, and to facilitate into the physical realm what was coming through him.<\/p>\n

He was writing so fast, and there were so many books coming through him in those days. He would call me with another title and say, \u201cIt\u2019s going to be a bestseller, it\u2019s the highest priority.\u201d And I would say, \u201cWell, you know, should I stop the other books, because they were the highest priority, and we\u2019re a little stuck with money, or other books.\u201d And he would say, \u201cNo, do them all.\u201d<\/p>\n

As I\u2019m sure you know, his energy and power would come through and make it all work. And my role, toward the end of his life, as I saw it, was to be a liaison. Because I felt he was living not so much here on the physical plane with us anymore, especially toward the end.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been told that he expressed trust in me. He told me that, in fact. But he would give out his thoughts in the form of a book, and then he would trust the process with the team that we had put together at Crystal Clarity.<\/p>\n

He did his own editing, of course, but for punctuation and so on, Dayanand was very good at that, and it relieved Lakshman of some of that work, which he\u2019d been doing for years.<\/p>\n

So Dayanand would talk to us, and we had Madhavi doing a great deal of the production side, organizing it, and she gave so much of herself to the books until it was time for a change for her. Narayan had done a great job as a salesperson when I got there, and we had various people in the production and design elements. But I would always take everything to Swami to see.<\/p>\n

He wanted to see all of the candidate covers for the books. There had been a thought, occasionally, that maybe we should just show him what would work, as if maybe he wouldn\u2019t understand what would work in the physical world. But I never thought that way about him, not for a moment. And if I had ten book covers as options, I would give them all to him, and he expressed his gratitude for that.<\/p>\n

During my time he picked the covers we used, and he would give direction or guidance on various aspects.<\/p>\n

There was Amala (Cathleen Elliot), a devotee who worked with the top publishers in New York, designing covers, and she worked with Swami on The Time Tunnel<\/em>. She was a top-level professional designer, and he drew her in because it was a way they could work together a bit, and she picked up really well on how to work with him. Because, in my experience, whenever Swami would want something, \u201cYes, we\u2019ll do it \u2013 yes, sir\u201d was usually the right answer.<\/p>\n

Sometimes people might run around doing something very precisely to the letter of what he had asked for, according to their best lights. But what he wanted, in my experience, was that we would reflect back to him what would actually work.<\/p>\n

I remember how Amala, the designer in New York worked on The Time Tunnel<\/em>, and how Swami wanted certain colors on the cover. And, in her way, she said to him, \u201cThat\u2019s great. That\u2019ll be beautiful. And, you know, it might be a good idea to use this color because the more expensive color won\u2019t quite work, and this will look really well. What do you think of this?\u201d<\/p>\n

And then Swami would say, \u201cGreat.\u201d And that\u2019s how I worked with him as well.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a book called Do It Now <\/em>that we did when I was at Crystal Clarity the first time. It was a small book that Swami wanted us to hand out for free. I remember how we were in our booth at the big book expo in Chicago, and Swami and I were handing them out to people. I was a sales manager in those days. And then Neale Donald Walsch came up, and I think it\u2019s the first time he had met Swami.<\/p>\n

He said, \u201cYou copied my format.\u201d Because Neale\u2019s books, the series called Conversations With God<\/em>, were in a narrow format. And Swami said, \u201cYes \u2013 isn\u2019t it wonderful?\u201d [Laughs]\u00a0 He just laughed, \u201cIsn\u2019t it wonderful?\u201d<\/p>\n

In those days, when he handed out the Do It Now <\/em>books for free, he told us that it was in response to the financial crises we were having. He wrote a book for Warner on meditation, and also Awaken to Superconsciousness<\/em>, and Do It Now<\/em>, and he was telling us, \u201cPut it out in twenty here, fifty there, and change the consciousness.\u201d \u2013 even though we didn\u2019t actually have the money to print the darn things. But his response was always to be bigger than the problem. And later in his life, it wasn\u2019t any different.<\/p>\n

At any rate, we had done that book in the mid-1990s, and then years later we were redoing some of the earlier books, and he retitled that one Do It Well<\/em>. Madhavi did a nice job of working on the interior and cover, so we went to print and we had books coming from overseas, and we\u2019d sold it into the market, including to Barnes and Noble who had placed big orders, and they always needed, in general, an eighteen-month lead time for books to go out to the big stores. But we never had that much time, and I had to get titles out in ten or eleven months to get pre-orders, to be able to get the payments to come down the road.<\/p>\n

And then Swami came to the airport, and I would always go see him at the airport with Asha and David and others. He would jump off the plane, and he would say a word or two to everybody, and then right away he would want to know about some book. It was always one of the first things he would talk about after he came off the plane, so I learned to be ready.<\/p>\n

But in that particular instance, he got off the plane and began talking about his new book, Living Wisely <\/em>(rewritten from the Do It Now <\/em>and Do It Well <\/em>books), of which we had oodles of copies coming on the boat.<\/p>\n

So we got to the Pravers\u2019 home, and we were talking at the lunch table, and Swami said, \u201cSkip, come here.\u201d And he said, \u201cWhat do we do with those other books? Because this one is much better. And can we just swap them?\u201d<\/p>\n

But the world doesn\u2019t work like that, and I couldn\u2019t do it. I wish we hadn\u2019t done Do It Now<\/em>, because Living Wisely, Living Well <\/em>living was so much better.<\/p>\n

I said, \u201cNo, they\u2019re on a boat coming from China, and we have to sell those first, if we can, before we print more.\u201d<\/p>\n

So a little while later, he said, \u201cWhat if we gave them all to Canada?\u201d [Laughs] You know, \u201cWhat if we just give them all away and print the new ones?\u201d<\/p>\n

He was always thinking about some way to get around the limitations of the physical world in order to get the real goods out, as it were.<\/p>\n

Our designer in Italy, Tejindra Scott Tully, is one of my best friends. We had a great connection working together, and I would work with him on book covers on occasion. He did many covers in the last years of Swami\u2019s life. And Madhavi, Renee Glenn, and Amala also designed our covers, as well as David on our staff.<\/p>\n

But with that particular book, I realized that I needed to rethink my process a bit. I realized that if Swami had a book in his hand, it would work better for him. So from that point I would always print a reader\u2019s copy, as they are called in the trade. These are advanced reader editions, or uncorrected proofs. In the old days we called them galleys. But it\u2019s more refined now, because you can get an actual bound book.<\/p>\n

But once we went to offset printing, which was the cheapest way to print, say, 3000 copies, you\u2019re kind of stuck with that.<\/p>\n

So it came to me to print maybe a hundred advance reader copies and make sure he got ten, and then he could mark them up, make lots of changes, and get them back to us in time to insert the changes before we went to press.<\/p>\n

But every book had its own story. And the universal trend was that Swami was always intensely focused on how it could be more clear, and how the reader could be touched more deeply, and how he could make the language work more smoothly. He told me, \u201cI have a bad habit \u2013 I won\u2019t put the pen down. I keep wanting to make it better.\u201d<\/p>\n

So we had a running joke, where I would say, \u201cI have to go to press in five hours.\u201d And he\u2019d look at his watch and say, \u201cWell, I better get to it.\u201d It was a way to keep it light. But he taught me how to work with him in a way that facilitated an understanding of what the real deadlines were.<\/p>\n

Sometimes people would have questions about why we couldn\u2019t do this or that. And every book was highly individual in terms of how it reflected Swamiji\u2019s relationship to Master, by expressing his consciousness through the written word.<\/p>\n

And always, without fail, Swamiji would talk about, \u201cThis is the way Master wants this.\u201d And we would put the book out that way.<\/p>\n

With Master\u2019s works \u2013 the Patanjali book and Whispers<\/em>, for example \u2013 Swami took the editing and production very seriously. Of course I would say that it was true of all the books. My understanding was that, for Swami, every book was a light unto itself, to draw others to God and find God within themselves through the teachings.<\/p>\n

But the books were, at the same time, both part of, and independent of our overall work at Ananda. The books stand on their own, and he wanted them to be available to people in bookstores everywhere. And whenever there was some physical issue in the way of our getting something out faster, he would exert a fair amount of will or pressure to be sure we weren\u2019t dragging our heels. But, in fact, we weren\u2019t.<\/p>\n

He lived in the awareness of the work already occurring, whereas we were stuck with boats coming and finding money and getting books printed overseas.<\/p>\n

And because we\u2019re all individuals working out our own delusions, people would say things to me over the years like, \u201cWell, you know, Swami\u2019s mind isn\u2019t working as well as it used to.\u201d \u201cWell, you know, Swami\u2019s forgetful.\u201d \u201cSwami\u2019s forgetful, you know, he doesn\u2019t remember.\u201d<\/p>\n

And, well, he would say to me, \u201cI want this out right away.\u201d And I\u2019d have to re-explain the process and how it worked, and that happened almost every time. But did I think he was forgetful? Not in the least. My job was to organize the physical elements and present a timeline so that he could understand what was happening.<\/p>\n

In my personal view, he lived \u2013 let\u2019s put it this way \u2013 closest to the causal realm of anyone I\u2019ve known in this life. He was drawing from that awareness, and from that eternal presence to a degree that I had never experienced, and my job was to serve as a link from that consciousness into this physical reality of printed paper and Kindle and ebooks and audio books, and to do whatever was needed.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Nicole and Gurudas Barrett in 2013.<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

So that\u2019s what we focused on, and I never for a moment thought that his mind wasn\u2019t working well. I took offense when people would say that to me, because that wasn\u2019t my experience of him at all. But I understand why they might think it, if they didn\u2019t have the same understanding, because if you have to explain something a number of times, you might say, \u201cWell, gosh, so-and-so used to remember a lot better.\u201d<\/p>\n

But that wasn\u2019t the case with Swami. It\u2019s not how I saw him. And that period was the greatest blessing for my life that I continue to draw on now.<\/p>\n

When I said in our earlier conversation that I felt his presence daily, well, I actually did. But in the later years when I worked at Crystal Clarity, it wasn\u2019t in the same way as in the past, where I would go over to his home and watch a movie, and so on. A lot of it now was by email, phone calls, and so forth, where he could call me from anywhere in the world at any time of day, and I learned to be available.<\/p>\n

I made sure that I had an iPad and a phone wherever I went, because it didn\u2019t happen all the time, but it could. And it would certainly happen at inopportune moments, although to me it wasn\u2019t inopportune because it was my life\u2019s purpose.<\/p>\n

Q:<\/strong> You worked on some major titles. The Gita, for example, is a tremendous book.<\/p>\n

Gurudas:<\/strong> Oh, yes. Sean Meshorer published that one, along with many others. I only worked on helping get it into paperback and doing the revisions.<\/p>\n

There were a number of books like the Rubaiyat that I did work on with the team, and then we put it into paperback.<\/p>\n

When I was at Crystal Clarity the first time, we worked on Autobiography of a Yogi<\/em> and other books. I remember meeting a woman who had left Mount Washington with Bernard, and later I said, \u201cSwami, I feel Master\u2019s hand over her life.\u201d And he whipped his head around and said, \u201cBut of course! Master never leaves us. Never.\u201d<\/p>\n

So my time at Crystal Clarity led to lots of interesting experiences, and everything we receive, I believe, is given to us to share with others.<\/p>\n

When we had our earlier talk, I said that I was around Swamiji a lot, and I guess I feel a little funny about saying that. Because my understanding is that it all happened very impersonally.<\/p>\n

There were times, for example, when I went to Italy with my former wife and we spent nearly every day with him. And he said to us, \u201cDon\u2019t tell people.\u201d So that\u2019s on my mind, how to understand whether it\u2019s appropriate to talk about it. Because people can get a sad feeling, \u201cWell, if only I\u2019d been around him.\u201d And, you know, everyone can be around him by cultivating his presence, and listening to his music and reading his books.<\/p>\n

So I feel that anything he might have given to us, or that he gave to me, was meant to be shared with others, and I don\u2019t want to come across as anything special.<\/p>\n

Q:<\/strong> I\u2019ve had the experience of being on the other side of the fence and appreciating what\u2019s to be learned from being on my side also, you know, where I did not spend a lot of time with Swamiji. But I\u2019ve always been friends with Asha, who spent a lot of time with him. And I see her life from my perspective as filled with tremendous God-sent lessons about the maturity and the inner qualities and humility and the sheer courage to be able to go to the teacher\u2019s feet and cooperate with him and let him work on you and change you. And that is, to me, what Asha models for all of us. But I see it also when you are talking about working with Swamiji. And I\u2019m thinking, my goodness, you know, you must have served him in many ways in former lives and had lots of square edges planed off in order to be able to go and serve so wholeheartedly.<\/p>\n

Gurudas:<\/strong> For whatever reason, I had a powerful experience during my first visit to Ananda, where he blessed me and I couldn\u2019t talk, and he walked away very quietly and left me to honor the experience.<\/p>\n

And then, I don\u2019t know, he just drew me into his aura. He would come to Earth Song and, say, \u201cLet\u2019s sit down and have lunch. Let\u2019s talk.\u201d And I was always sort of hiding out, until I ended up managing Crystal Clarity, and then there was no hiding. We hide out behind being busy and not really embracing who we could be, I guess. Or we project a personality, and then something happens and we kind of find the wish to be hidden being blown away, and we just start being who we are, and it\u2019s a lot more free.<\/p>\n

At Earth Song, Swami would come to town, and if I was having a bad day I would try to hide from him. Maybe I\u2019d go down a different aisle when I saw him enter the store, and then suddenly he\u2019d be in front of me and he\u2019d say, \u201cWhat are you doing?\u201d He physically would stand in front of me, like, \u201cWhat are you doing? I want to talk to you.\u201d Because he knew what I was doing.<\/p>\n

But at Crystal Clarity I couldn\u2019t hide. He knew every thought in my head, you know, and I never thought for a moment he didn\u2019t know everything that was going on with me. But he didn\u2019t presume, he was always respectful, each and every time, and I never had a single moment that he wasn\u2019t aware of. There were some tense moments, at times, but I always felt that my job, and this is the key point for me, in talking about the books and all, was to serve.<\/p>\n

One morning I got a phone call at four a.m. We\u2019d been working to get out The New Path <\/em>before Swami left for Europe. When I was at his home, we had talked about The New Path <\/em>and what was going to be in it, and I remember asking him if he wanted someone to help update the section on Ananda at the end of the book, and so forth. And he said, \u201cNo, this book isn\u2019t about Ananda.\u201d And as you\u2019ll realize when you read The Path <\/em>versus The New Path, <\/em>he took Ananda out at the end of the book all those years later, and it became more universal.<\/p>\n

So, anyway, we worked on it, and we got the type all figured out. That was the last book that Madhavi worked on. She typeset that book, which is not easy, and I would give her so much praise. She killed herself to make that book work just right, and it was a beautiful, selfless work. She won\u2019t take credit for it, but I was there and I saw her do it.<\/p>\n

So I get a phone call, and it\u2019s Swami at four a.m., and he\u2019s a little elevated. \u201cSkip, stop the presses \u2013 the typeface is too small. We must get it larger.\u201d<\/p>\n

And I\u2019m not even awake. But he\u2019s calling from Italy, and I said, \u201cSwamiji what is it that you\u2019d like?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe type is not large enough. We need larger type. The font is too small.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, Swami, we discussed the typeface, and the ten-point type is exactly what\u2019s in the Autobiography of a Yogi. You and I discussed it before you left for your travels. We\u2019re at press, and we could change it if you want, but this is what it means.<\/p>\n

And he said, \u201cOh, we did discuss it. It\u2019s all right then.\u201d And I said, \u201cSwami, it\u2019s fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

I happen to think he did that for the benefit of the people who were present there with him, and it wasn\u2019t really about changing it. I believe it was for the benefit of those people who had been with him for a long time, and he loved them. And they had the thought, you know, based on what they\u2019d done in the past with him, that maybe this wasn\u2019t the story. But then Lakshman came on and started asking about a change that did need to be made. \u201cWhat about that paragraph \u2013 did you get it fixed?\u201d I don\u2019t remember exactly what it was.<\/p>\n

And Swami said, \u201cThat wasn\u2019t fixed? Stop the presses!\u201d [Laughs]<\/p>\n

I said, \u201cSwami, we fixed that just as you wanted it, okay? And if there\u2019s anything else, let me know.\u201d<\/p>\n

He said, \u201cOh, good. All right,\u201d And we rang off.<\/p>\n

I saw that dynamic more than a few times. That was one of the few times it happened while we talked about a book, but I saw it in person with other people more than a few times. And I finally kind of got the message that it wasn\u2019t always about what I might think was going on. And if I tuned in a little bit, there was a little more happening.<\/p>\n

He knew he could call me and I wouldn\u2019t lose my cookies over changing stuff, or jump up and do whatever. I could just tell him what was happening. Because I was never afraid to tell him, \u201cWe need this and this.\u201d \u201cSwami, we can do that. Now, here\u2019s what this will cost. This costs this much. We can have this now, we can have that there.\u201d<\/p>\n

Swami\u2019s biography of Paramhansa Yogananda is another story that I like. I was reading my email and having coffee at about 6:40 a.m. at home, and I got an email from Swami that said, \u201cBe here in the morning first thing at six or whatever, I want to talk to you.\u201d And just then the phone rang \u2013 \u201cWhere are you?\u201d [Laughs]<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be right there.\u201d So I threw on some clothes and ran over to the hermitage, and he said to me, \u201cI\u2019ve finished Master\u2019s biography and I want to launch it in Los Angeles next month.\u201d<\/p>\n

I said, \u201cOkay, Swami, I see. You know, I don\u2019t believe we\u2019re going to be able to launch the book in one month in Los Angeles and actually have physical books.\u201d<\/p>\n

He said, \u201cWhy?\u201d And I said, \u201cBecause we won\u2019t be able to have physical books. We have to go to the printer, and it has to be typeset, and so on.\u201d<\/p>\n

I just had to explain the routine. And, now, that goes back to the question of, is his mind working right? Well, of course his mind was working right. He wanted to launch the book and get it out to people.<\/p>\n

But then I said, \u201cWhy is it time sensitive now?<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019m going to India.\u201d<\/p>\n

I said, \u201cAll right, Swami, Sangita can publish it first in India.\u201d He had me working with Sangita; he had told her to work with me and to be in touch with me. The three of us had met numerous times, and my job was to help her.<\/p>\n

I said, \u201cI can help Sangita get the book going, and you can launch it in India and then do something when you come back.\u201d Which is what we did. But in the moment, you know, I just gave him what I knew the facts were, and I didn\u2019t jump up and get crazy and reactive or anything, because I felt very comfortable in his presence. I could say what I needed to say, and if he wanted it, then I would move heaven and earth if I could to make it happen.<\/p>\n

But if he didn\u2019t know the facts, or didn\u2019t know the details, then he couldn\u2019t make a decision. How could he make a proper decision without the details, and understanding how it would work?<\/p>\n

There were a lot of people who had such love and energy and just made things happen, and then sometimes maybe it would need a little refinement to be what he wanted. And so when one of us would give him the feedback he needed, because I wasn\u2019t the only one, he would be happy with that. And I didn\u2019t mind doing that, because it was my joy.<\/p>\n

Sometimes he did override me, and I would do whatever he wanted. I always told him, \u201cThese books are coming through you, and I do what you say, but I want you to have the knowledge of what we\u2019re seeing so you can make an informed decision, and then whatever you say, we\u2019ll do it.\u201d And we had sort of an unspoken understanding that way after a while.<\/p>\n

So for me it was impersonal, even though there was a personal touch, but at any rate it was a great blessing.<\/p>\n

Returning to the biography of Master, that morning we got the cover and other things settled for the book, and it was fun to get that book down the road.<\/p>\n

There was a donor, and Swami could always manifest whatever money was needed. He could call the right person, and he had the discernment to know which person God had ready, and what would be good for that person. So somebody would step up, and in this case a big donor funded the entire book. But we never had money, and we were always scraping by, and then he would come back to America and ask me what was going on, and what we needed, and he would generally use his birthday money to keep the books going.<\/p>\n

People from all over the world gave him money, and he would spend it on the books, or he would help Assisi to publish books.<\/p>\n

It was always an interesting dynamic. Late in his life we had so many books going at once, and I can\u2019t believe we got them all published, but the team was really superb, getting everything out, and it took us a year after he left his body to wrap up and finish the ones that were in process.<\/p>\n

There were other things he had wanted done, and we got some of it done, and in time, some more will be done \u2013 there were books that he wanted to get back in print, and Dayanand worked on those because he had the funding to do small runs.<\/p>\n

But when Swami was no longer around, we didn\u2019t have the money anymore to print books. We certainly had a lot of books, though, and it will take a long time to work our way through all that he left for everyone.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been deeply touched by Narayani\u2019s book, for example. She came late in Swami\u2019s life and was with him all the time, and so she had a chance to really see and embrace his essence and his connection to the Divine. There are books you read because maybe there are some subjects or events you want to read about. But that book is a clear mirror of the experience of his presence, and for me it was like a day in my life with Swami Kriyananda. That\u2019s how I felt while reading it. You dip into the book and it gives you a nice experience of bathing in the beautiful waters of his presence in her life.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll tell you one more \u2013 I think of it as a teaching story. It\u2019s from when I came back to Crystal Clarity the second time. Swami had told me he always wanted to be there, and he was so glad I had come back.<\/p>\n

When I was at Crystal Clarity the first time, he\u2019d put me there after I had managed Earth Song. And then he was in India in 1995, and the dynamics of our lives were such that my wife and I moved to Oregon. And as Padma put it, \u201cSwami always had one person who was a contact for everything that was going on with his books, and you are that now.\u201d Because Danny Levin was no longer there, and I had that connection with him. But then he went to India, after not being there for a long time, And when he came back I got a phone call, and he said essentially, \u201cI went to India and came back and you\u2019re not here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Well, I could have died, because he had put me at Crystal Clarity, and it\u2019s a long and complicated story, because it was a crazy period. But I had left with this other dynamic, and then he was like, \u201cWhere are you?\u201d And I felt horrible.<\/p>\n

And then fast forward some years, and I still had that connection. We would still talk occasionally, or write, and there were life chapters that opened and closed. And so I moved back down to the village in 2007 at Christmastime, and then I believe it was in February that Swami came back, and he had me over and he said, \u201cI always wanted you at Crystal Clarity, and now you\u2019re back.\u201d And then he said, \u201cI keep hearing the good things you\u2019re doing. You\u2019re doing such a great job. You\u2019re doing great work there.\u201d And I looked at him. \u201cSwamiji, I appreciate that, except I need to tell you, I don\u2019t feel like I\u2019m doing anything at all.\u201d And he leaned forward in his chair and said, \u201cI know the feeling.\u201d<\/p>\n

So then my time with him started again, and we were doing Whispers From Eternity<\/em> that he had edited. The former manager, Sean Meshorer, had launched it as a reprint, but then some things happened, and there were legal issues, and so we were all still trying to dance around the topic, and the dynamic of what was legal. And then we finally made the decision that the book was fine to do. But we were doing Whispers<\/em>. And for some of the people on the team, before I arrived, the way of working with Swami was thought to be, \u201cWell, we\u2019ll get him some red herrings. We\u2019ll make sure he sees one thing that we know will work, and that way we\u2019ll get it into print and it\u2019ll make some sales.\u201d<\/p>\n

And, you know, I wouldn\u2019t work that way with him. But some things were already in motion. There was a cover that Chitra had done, which is the current cover of Whispers <\/em>as published by Crystal Clarity. The cover had a beautiful deep-blue and a beautiful lotus flower and so forth, and that was the cover we put into the catalog for pre-orders.<\/p>\n

Now, in the book world you can have a cover, and people sometimes know you\u2019re going to change the cover, but at other times they were adamant about what they wanted, if they had placed an order.<\/p>\n

So we were down there, and Swami was signing books, and I brought Swami the printout of the layout of Whispers From Eternity<\/em> for him to see. But Swami wanted us to use a cover with a painting he\u2019d done back in the day when Tara Mata wasn\u2019t interested in his ideas for Whispers<\/em>.<\/p>\n

So I went over to Swamiji\u2019s, and I forgot to bring the cover, and Swami asked, \u201cWhere\u2019s the cover?\u201d \u201cOh, I left it at the office, I\u2019ll go get it.\u201d \u201cNo, no, bring it tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

But the next morning, before we went over, Narayan said, \u201cHey, Skip, you need to see this.\u201d And I looked at what he had, and it was an order from Borders Books for four thousand copies of Whispers From Eternity<\/em>, but only if we used the original cover that we\u2019d put into the pre-order catalog, and not the published cover that we were telling everyone we were going to use, which was Swami\u2019s painting.<\/p>\n

Narayan said, \u201cWhat are we going to do?\u201d I said, \u201cI\u2019m going to take it over and tell him.\u201d And I could see in his eyes, \u201cBetter you than me.\u201d [Laughs]<\/p>\n

So we went over, and I said, \u201cI have the cover, Swami.\u201d Because I had the cover that he loved, and he said, \u201cMy cover!\u201d And I said, \u201cBut Swami\u2026\u201d And he could hear it in my voice, and he said, \u201cWhat?\u201d And he looked at me deeply. \u201cWell, you need to know, Swami, that we can go forward with this, but we just got an order from Borders Books for thousands of copies, and they want the other cover we did. They don\u2019t want the one that you like, with your painting. They don\u2019t want that.\u201d<\/p>\n

He looked at me, and he said, \u201cSo much for my ego \u2013 crushed again! Give them what they want.\u201d<\/p>\n

So we printed that cover. Unfortunately, we made an error \u2013 the cover came out black. There are issues about matte finishes versus glossy finishes, and now the book looks matte black, and not the deep, rich blue that we wanted to print. So it\u2019s still not the cover Swami wanted.<\/p>\n

But Swami\u2019s point was, if that\u2019s what makes it work, then so much for what I want, just give them what they want. [Laughs]<\/p>\n

Vidura used to call Crystal Clarity Swami\u2019s personal karma mill. [Laughs] And I don\u2019t think that\u2019s wrong.<\/p>\n

At any rate, I\u2019m glad that these stories are being told, because at least for me, these things have value. But for whatever reason, Swamiji just pulled me in. There were many other stories, but the last part of his life was so significant, when his focus was to get everything out as quickly as possible, all of the books that he had written and had so much energy for, and we were able to facilitate it. We had great printing, and I had a great foundation to build on because Sean and Padma had done it before me, along with Puru, and all the people that had been there had left a great foundation to work from.<\/p>\n

Looking at Crystal Clarity from the outside, there could be the thought that it had cost all this money over the years and it didn\u2019t ever seem to work. But we were a church publishing house, and Swami kept it separate for a good reason, you know, so that it wasn\u2019t bound by only religion or whatever, but it would be bound by truth for all souls. That\u2019s why he used the name Crystal Clarity Publishers instead of Ananda Publications, because he wanted it to be broader, and not hindered by anybody\u2019s preconceptions. It\u2019s why he tried different names, like using Donald Waters for certain books and Swami Kriyananda for others.<\/p>\n

The way Swami looked at it was to reach out to people where they are, and he had the magnetism to draw the resources we needed in order to do that, and he left us with plenty to work with for the decades after his passing.<\/p>\n

I remember him saying when I was at Crystal Clarity in the early nineties, \u201cThere can be a center, a work, built around every title. Every one of my books could be a central part of our work. We could build a work around Education for Life<\/em>.\u201d Which of course we\u2019ve done, but we could build works around these other books, reaching out to people where they are, because that\u2019s how he looked at things, as well as coming from a deep, deep truth. And these are all things I hope that we can impart to others, and that we can bring to fruition in time. Because he had planted his ideas in the ether, as Master said, speaking of his inspiration for world brotherhood communities. And he was adamant that he wanted us to get his books out after he was gone.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not the only one who heard him speak that way. But we all have our roles at different times. But I certainly don\u2019t want to say I was anything special for being around Swami a great deal. I don\u2019t like that thought. In fact, he told me, \u201cDon\u2019t speak that way,\u201d and I want to honor that.<\/p>\n

I think there are people that knew him as deeply who maybe didn\u2019t get to spend a day in his physical presence. So, to me, it isn\u2019t special. It\u2019s simply that what\u2019s given to us is for us to give to all. And to whatever degree this is useful, I would like to do that.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

NOTE:\u00a0This is a long, combined posting of two chapters in Gurudas\u2019s life, before and during the years when he worked closely with Swami Kriyananda as manager of Crystal Clarity Publishers, the company that published Swamiji\u2019s books. For readers who are interested to know what it was like to work as one of Swamiji\u2019s \u201cright-hand men,\u201d … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1034","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nConversations With Ananda — Chs. 20 & 21, Gurudas Barrett - Swami Kriyananda: Lightbearer<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A disciple of Paramhansa Yogananda recalls working with the master's direct disciple, Swami Kriyananda.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.yoganandafortheworld.com\/story\/conversations-with-ananda-chs-20-21-gurudas-barrett\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" 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